


Rewrite the Stars

by PhoenixSolo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: And I am still not sorry, Everything is consensual, F/M, I’ve created a monster, Shameless Smut, Still not sorry, What Have I Done, and now it’s angsty AF, i should be writing something else, im not sorry, its a fic now, started off as smut I swear, will never be sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-20 21:27:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixSolo/pseuds/PhoenixSolo
Summary: >NEW NOTE<Okay this started off with the intention of pure smut but because I am me, it evolved into something else.I am not sorry.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> >NEW NOTE<
> 
> Okay this started off with the intention of pure smut but because I am me, it evolved into something else. 
> 
> I am not sorry.

Kylo Ren stalked out of the room, leaving the vacuum doors wide open. He motioned for the stormtroopers to follow him, leaving cleanup to you. Clearly someone in your chain of command was irate with you, but medical things were what you do. Including clean up and potential disposal.

The prisoner was still alive. Either Ren was losing his touch or this man was worth more alive than dead. 

He was under average size for a human male but compact, with wavy black curls that were currently matted with sweat and blood. His skin, where it wasn’t bloody, bruised or dirty, was the color of caf with a large helping of cream. He looked like he should have been a model instead of a pilot. 

As you wondered what color his eyes were, he actually opened them. They were black, but not the ice cold black of the First Order color scheme. They were a soft, warm black, like a cozy night inside. He saw you and startled slightly, then just stared. 

“How can such a beauty like you be on their side?”

“I’m sorry, what—?” You were taken a little aback; no one had ever called you a beauty before.

“Are you an angel?” This man, who had literally had his mind ransacked and was beaten to a bloody pulp, was actually FLIRTING. WITH. YOU. 

The stranger thing is that you were not opposed to it. There was no denying Dameron was attractive but this was neither the time nor the the place for flirting. You had clean up to supervise; your position as commander notwithstanding, you still had a job to do.

“What’s your name, princess?” 

“Excuse you?” 

Dameron smirked. “It’s called an introduction. I’m Commander Poe Dameron and you are…?”

You blinked. “You’re not going to give up, are you.” 

“Nope.” He smiled rakishly. 

“Very well: I’m commander (y/n) and I’ll be your doctor this evening.” You snapped the probe in your hand open and Dameron blanched. 

It wasn’t even that kind of probe but he didn’t know that, nor did he need to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trust me, we’re getting there

You finished your exam of the prisoner and left. He was still in good health despite the mental probe and the beatings; none of his physical injuries were severe. 

But still, something inside you stirred at the thought of him. Was the torture really necessary? Was any of this necessary? 

Your role as a doctor on this ship was vastly diminished: instead of treating people, you were assigned cleanup after “interrogations” and mortuary affairs. This isn’t what you went to med school for and you greatly resented it. 

Still, there was no reason for Dameron to remain on board; if he did, he’d likely be killed. You pondered this as you walked down the hallway, holding his records. 

And collided with a stormtrooper. You knew his designation—FN-2187—-and you knew from personal experience that he displayed nonconformity. You took great pains to protect all the stormtroopers who saw you: any trooper displaying nonconformity was disposed of in a rather brutal way. 

So you erased his and any other troopers’ records of nonconformity. 

The trooper helped you up. “Sorry, commander, I should have been watching where I was going.” He rushed off—towards the interrogation chambers.

You knew exactly what he was doing and an idea occurred to you. You looked around; nobody was in the hallway except for you and the trooper. “FN-2187!” 

The trooper turned, a look of fear on his face. 

“Passcode is the day the Empire rose. Two digit month and day, four digit year. Give me five minutes, then go in. I didn’t see you and you didn’t see me.” You turned away and walked down the hallway, whistling. 

Your next stop was the morgue: a trooper that looked vaguely like Dameron had died in a bar fight two days previously. His face was too battered to make any kind of identification. You logged into the computer with the credentials of someone higher than you who had been foolish enough to leave out his information and swapped records, making sure to list the trooper who died as a deserter and Dameron as dead. 

Half an hour later, the alarms sounded and you smiled inwardly. 

—————

_What in the hell was I thinking??_

Two weeks later, you facepalmed as you remembered giving that trooper the information. Because of your rank and that you were the last to see FN-2187, you were held responsible for his defection. The higher ranking official that allegedly swapped out Dameron’s and the dead trooper’s identity was executed for treason, protesting all the while that he was innocent. 

The only reason you weren’t demoted was because of the information you “provided” against the “treasonous cur”. 

You still got punished, even if it was just being delegated worse duties. 

In this case, it was leading a platoon of troopers on maneuvers on Takodana. Every officer had to do this twice in a galactic year, just to keep them on top of their game. 

Your game was literally sick troopers and dead bodies. There was no reason for you to actually be out here other than someone was mad at you. 

In your tent, thankfully air conditioned and protected against the soupy humidity of the planet, you went over your paperwork. You had enough supplies for the week, provided GH-3410 didn’t eat more than his share, as he was wont to do. 

Your job here was to practice paperwork and officer things in the field; you weren’t required to go on patrol, for which you were eternally grateful. This place reeked of multiple things you couldn’t name. 

Six days in and you were ready to just let the resistance have this damned planet. Too many bugs, too many critters and breathing liquid air was not on your list of fun things to do. 

This day, you HAD to go out. As the ranking officer, you were in charge and you needed to oversee the excavation of something or other in the castle that Ren and his troops had destroyed several weeks before. One of the troops had found something interesting and it bore checking out, the voice on the radio said.

Could a lieutenant do it? No, because the lieutenant in question was more interested in collecting the local flora and fauna for display. You made a mental note to write up the lieutenant upon your return. 

Grabbing your rucksack, you left your sidearm at the base. It was just an excavation and the odds of an attack were slim to none on the short fifteen minute walk. 

You reached the castle and immediately realized something seemed off. 

Your troops were gone. Hair standing on the back of your neck, you instantly regretted not grabbing your sidearm. You reached for your vibroblade—

And that’s when everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by a tumblr post and it was too good to just stick with one chapter, considering the INSANE amount of smut I could write.

You came to some time later. The sun hasn’t moved much in the sky so it couldn’t have been that much longer, but that wasn’t the big issue right now. 

Peering over you were three beings, two human and one Twi’lek. “...um…” 

The Twi’lek, who appeared to be the leader, pulled you up by your lapels. “We don’t take kindly to First Order around here, lady. What were you and your troops doing?”

You put your hands up. “Just training, I swear!” 

“I don’t think I believe her, boss.” One of the humans smirked while the other let his gaze linger over your chest a little too long for comfort. 

“Well, they’re not our problem. Not anymore.” The Twi’lek motioned towards the castle and you saw clearly the scattered bodies of your troops. 

_Shit._

This wasn’t going to end well. “Look, I’m just a doctor. Why would they send a doctor with a platoon?” _Wow. Just...wow. What a stupid thing to say._

“Why indeed, darling.” The Twi’lek produced a knife and pressed the edge along your throat. 

Bargaining didn’t work. “Okay, if you don’t let me go, my superiors will know. We’ve all got tracking devices under our skin.” You motioned as best you could to a bump in your left arm. It was your contraceptive implant, but a bluff is a bluff.

The trio burst out laughing. One of the humans wiped a tear from his eye and guffawed: “Tell is another one, sweetheart!” 

The Twi’lek shook his head. “Your male counterparts don’t have those.”

Okay, so bluffing isn’t your strong suit. Time for the fear. “The First Order keeps pretty strong tabs on us. They find out you destroyed a platoon and they’ll come hunting you down—ugh!”

The Twi’lek punched you in the gut. “Stop talking. They’ve got so many troops, they won’t miss you and your equipment.” He threw you towards the two humans, who each grabbed an arm while the Twi’lek undid his belt. 

“No—don’t!” You struggled, slamming a foot down on one man’s foot. He released his grip on you but the other one didn’t. You reared your fist back to punch him but Foot Stomp Victim grabbed it, restraining you once again. 

“Hold her down, boys; she’s a fighter!” The Twi’lek roared with laughter. “I like them feisty!”

You did the last thing you wanted to do: you shrieked. 

The Twi’lek’s pants fell and he advanced on you. “Nobody can hear you, Doc…” He reached out and grabbed your neck with one hand, pawing at your breasts with the other. 

You closed your eyes—

—and felt something warm splatter on your face. The human on your right arm let go and you heard something that sounded like a sack of tubers hitting the ground. 

You opened your eyes to see the Twi’lek looking to your right and reaching for his blaster. With your free arm, you punched him in the face, which distracted him from the hole that materialized in his chest. 

The survivor on your left arm let you go and ran. You dove for the now-dead Twi’lek’s blaster and aimed for the rapidly fleeing human.

He didn’t get very far; a blaster whine sounded and he dropped.

But it wasn’t your blaster. You turned rapidly to see where the report came from—

And standing not twenty five meters from you, like an angel from whatever heaven you may have believed in at one point (and whichever you didn’t) was Commander Poe Dameron, holding a smoking blaster and smirking. 

“Oh, princess, what a surprise.”

“It’s commander, but thank you.” You meant it. The man had saved you from death and worse. 

He walked towards you and gently pushed down the blaster pistol you hadn’t realized you were aiming. “You’d better get going. I’m not alone. Your shuttle is still where you left it. I’m here for a week, now go.” 

“Wha—?” He was letting you, a First Order officer, go? 

Before you could stop him, he grabbed a fistful of your hair at the nape of your neck, pulled you gently but firmly towards him and kissed you on the mouth. Soft lips met trembling ones; he tasted like sweat and musk and desire. 

You raised a hand as if to slap him but fell into the kiss, putting that hand on his face and the other on his hip. 

As you returned the kiss, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer, one hand still holding the pistol and the other grabbing your ass and squeezing. 

When you two finally broke for air, he whispered: “that’s for helping me escape,” then whirled around and left you surrounded by three dead bodies.

You put your hand in your pocket to find your comlink and found it as well as a piece of flimsi. 

It was written in Basic—it was an address.

-———

Three days, one brutally verbal interrogation and one invasive medical exam later, you sat on your bunk. Your general wasn’t particularly forgiving but you hadn’t been demoted and the investigation showed you weren’t at fault, so there could be worse things.

You needed a break. Your general agreed; you were given three days leave to spend on Takodana. You packed a bag and that piece of flimsi and left the ship before you could change your mind.

This break was happening, whether your superiors liked it or not.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now we get to the GOOD SHIT.
> 
> Point of note, I’m open to anything sexually, except scat, waterplay and anything involving children, animals or other than sober people. 
> 
> So yes, I’ll be taking suggestions, but please don’t be offended if I don’t use your idea. There’s SOME kind of plot here, but I haven’t yet figured out what it is. For right now, it’s just smut. Sex. Hanky panky. Bow chicka wow wow.

The hotel on the piece of paper was not ostentatious but it wasn’t seedy either. It was run down but nice and well maintained; it smelled pleasantly of Abednago curry nearby and you made a note to get some before your leave was up. 

You walked to the check in desk where a rather bored looking clerk sat eating the curry you had smelled. 

“Name?” The clerk intoned around a mouthful of curry. 

“YN/LN.”

“Oh, it says here you have a room reserved,” the clerk said. “Here’s your data chip. Ice machine is down the hall, pool is closed for the season.”

After thanking the clerk and collecting your chip, you walked down the hallway to the room.   
Only then did it occur to you in your exhaustion that you didn’t reserve the room. 

But if you didn’t, who did? 

The answer became quite clear as you walked further into the room. 

Poe Dameron lay stretched out on a bed large enough to hold two people. He wore shorts and a tank top, had a few days of stubble and was dozing lightly. 

He was breathtakingly, heartachingly beautiful from this angle. 

You dropped your bag a little louder than you wanted to, jolting Poe out of his doze. His military reflexes kicked in: before he was fully awake, he was aiming his blaster at you. 

“Easy, fly boy, it’s just me.” 

He smirked, laying the blaster on the bed table. “I didn’t think you First Order types actually took vacations.” 

“I’ve got three days,” you said as you picked up your bag from where it was on the door. 

“Gee, whatever will you do with that time.” Poe stood up and held his hands out. 

“I’m not sure. I just needed to get out—oh?” 

You put the bag on the bed and was in the process of opening it when you felt hands—Poe’s—on your hips. He turned you around and pulled you to him.

He put his face close to yours and whispered in a low voice: “I know what we can do…”

You felt...you didn’t know how you felt. 

But this was a damn good feeling. 

And it got better when he put his hands on your face then pressed his lips to yours, tentatively at first, then hungrily. He kissed you as if you were his last meal and he wanted to gorge. 

As he kissed you, you removed your jacket; Poe backed you up as he kissed you. The backs of your knees hit the bed and you fell with Poe on top of you. 

Poe broke the kiss against your mouth and you let out a soft moan as he pressed his kisses into the column of your throat. “You are wearing entirely too many clothes, princess; allow me to fix that.” Slowly, he removed your top, then your bra, then your pants and underwear, showering your skin with kisses and nips, then stood up. 

You lay naked before him, a buffet to be consumed at his leisure. “Now who’s wearing too many clothes?” You reached for his tank top but he pushed your hand away. 

“Not yet, my darling.” Poe knelt in front of you and parted your thighs. “I still have yet to thank you properly for saving my life.” 

“Wait, I thought FN did that—oh!” You gasped as he nipped your inner thigh. 

“Am I to assume that anyone had access to the interrogation chamber? If so, that’s poor security.” He covered his nip site with his mouth and sucked gently. 

“Well… no—ah!” You leaned your head back and gasped again as Poe’s hands ran up your thighs. One ended at the apex of your legs, where your clit and cunt desperately begged for the attention your legs were receiving. 

“So SOMEONE must have given him the codes… and from everything Finn tells me, they’re pretty anal retentive about who they give the codes to.” Poe’s kisses trailed excruciatingly slow up the inside of your thighs. “So when you left and suddenly Finn showed up, I put two and two together.” 

You shuddered in pleasure and groaned in disappointment as his hands crept closer to your cunt then away, the closer still and away again. 

“What do you want, princess?” Poe murmured, mouth now moved to the area between your navel and your pubis. “How do you want it?”

You’d had sex before, but it was more out of boredom. Neither you nor your partners were interested in exploring each other; just the action and the result. 

“...Poe…”

“Oh I love it when you say my name, princess…” Poe groaned into your thigh. He sat up and pushed his still clothed hips forward into you. “Tell me what you want…” 

No one had ever asked you what you wanted in your encounters; this whole encounter was new to you. “Please—oh!”

Poe’s mouth found one of your breasts while his hand found the other one. He gently sucked on the nipple, eliciting another groan from you, while he massaged your other breast. He slid his free hand down between your legs and slid a finger to your dripping wet cunt. “Oh you’re already wet for me…” His mouth left your breast and you gasped at the loss of him. 

He traces his tongue down the center of your body, kissing your navel, then planted his lips against your slit. “Oh stars, you are delicious,” he murmured against you. He gently kissed your lower lips as you ground yourself against him, moaning. 

“Poe—“ you gasped as he moved his mouth to your mound and sucked on it. You were so close—

He sat up and used his shirt to wipe your juices off his face, then smirked. “Not yet, princess, not without me…” 

Slightly winded from your almost orgasm, you sat up and glared at him. “You are not fair.” 

He removed his shirt as you got off the bed and got to your knees in front of him, turning him so he was sitting on the bed. You grabbed his shorts with your hands and yanked them down before he could stop you. 

Your prize was nestled in dark curls; he was half erect and you could tell he was definitely above average. You took him in your hands and experimentally licked the tip; he shuddered and moaned, then ran his hands through your hair. 

As you took him all the way into your mouth, he hardened. The tip hit the back of your throat but you were only about halfway down his shaft, so you began sucking. “—not gonna last too long if you keep doing that—“

Poe pulled you off of his dick and to your feet, then kissed you with a fierce intensity that you had only read about in romance novels. He broke the kiss long enough to ask: “Are you on anything?” 

You nodded. “You?”

He nodded as he attacked your lips again, then spun you around so you were under him. He positioned himself between your legs and put the tip of his cock right against your entrance. “You ready?”

“Go slow—ah!” 

Go slow he did and it was exquisite. He was very much above average but not to the point of pain. He filled you completely. You both gasped as he hit your cervix and he stopped momentarily. 

“Oh princess, you’re so tight—“ He stood up and pulled your legs so they wrapped around your waist, then gave a short experimental thrust—

—followed by several deeper thrusts. 

And suddenly, you felt like Poe was holding back. As he leaned over you, you ran your hands through his silky black curls—and tugged. 

He stopped thrusting and gave you a mischievous grin, then grabbed your wrists and pinned them down. He pulled out excruciatingly slow then slammed himself into you and you cried out in a mix of pain and pleasure. 

THAT was more like it. 

“Is this how you like it, princess?” He enunciated each word in a low, husky voice and emphasized each word with a hard thrust into you. 

“Oh yes—“

Poe transferred one of your wrists to the hand holding the other one, pinning both wrists down with one hand, and used his free hand to turn your head (gently) so you were looking into his face. “Yes what?”

You blinked, confused for half a second, then guessed he wanted you to call him by his rank. “—yes—commander—“ 

The correct guess earned you a salacious lick on your throat that seemed to ignite every nerve. He ended his lick on your mouth and kissed you deeply, inserting a probing tongue. 

“You gonna come for me, princess? You gonna come on my cock?” 

You were so.damn.close—

“Come on, Y/N, cum for me—“ Poe thrust harder and faster into you. “Look at me when you cum—“ 

You locked eyes with him—and that did it. 

Your world went white in a cacophony of sound and feeling and you were borne away on a wave of decadent pleasure like nothing you’d ever felt before. You arched your back against him and cried out his name as he rode you through your climax.

Poe’s thrusts became more erratic and his breathing became ragged; he moaned your name, released your face and pulled out and spent himself against your leg. 

Releasing your wrists, he collapsed next to you, then grabbed your face and turned it to him. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” 

You couldn’t speak, so you just shook your head. Both of you lay on the bed panting for a few moments, then you found your voice. “That was… amazing. I’ve never had anything that intense before.” 

Poe put his hand in the center of your chest, just below your heart. “Same here, princess.” 

More silence, then you said: “I AM on birth control…” 

“Same here but I never trusted the damn things.” Poe chuckled and grabbed his shirt, then wiped up your legs and his. “No, I don’t have proof of that mistrust, I just trust your general a little more than it.” 

You looked at him and blinked and the both of you dissolved into a deep belly laugh, then he pulled you closer and you fell asleep in his arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the guideline for this suggested an ongoing affair between Reader and Poe where Reader first meets him in the interrogation chamber. Since the time frame between TFA and TLJ is like a couple of weeks, I’m carrying this on a little farther, going with the assumption that the war is going to last another few years. 
> 
> This is now a thing and prepare for possible angst, fluff and shit. 
> 
> Also, Poe is an ass man. *it is known*

TAKODANA, DAY 2

You awoke alone. 

It was mid morning and the sun shone through the curtains. 

Disappointment flooded you; Poe was nowhere to be found. You figured you’d be used to it by now; you just thought it would be different with him. 

Naked, you got out of bed, evidence of last night still sticking to your thigh. It would probably do you good to shower, so you grabbed fresh underwear and body wash out of your bag and a towel. 

The water took a few minutes to warm up but it was definitely worth it: the heat made you sigh appreciatively. You took your time cleaning every nook and cranny on your body, more because you were on vacation than anything else. While frequent showers were required in first order ships, any heat more than tepid was a rarity unless you woke up three hours before formation. 

Halfway through washing your hair, you smelled caf. “Ooh.” Room service was good, but it meant having to actually put on clothes. 

Which you left in your bag on the bed. Quickly, you left the shower and dried off, threw on your underwear and burst into the room— 

—nearly knocking over Poe in the process. “Hot caf!” He lifted a drink carrier and a bag over your head to keep them from being knocked over. 

“You’re—wait, huh?”

“Caf first, princess— also I love your underwear.” He winked and you nearly burst into flames. You didn’t care for lacy things except for once in a while and “on leave and planning to get laid” was definitely once in a while. 

“I thought you’d left,” you said as you gratefully accepted the caf. 

“Now why would I do that, Y/N?” Poe passed you the cream and sugar, then opened the bag. There were pastries in it and he offered you the frosted one with sprinkles before biting into his own. 

“I didn’t know if…” _this was going to continue_ — “you wanted to eat with me or not…” you finished lamely. 

“Well, seeing as how there was no food in the room or edible anything in the vending droids, I went to the pastry shop across the street.” Poe finished his and sipped on his caf. “Wasn’t sure if you ate meat so I didn’t get any of that.” 

The pastry you had was delicious. Poe leaned in and licked the side of your mouth. “You had something on your cheek.” 

A lie but it definitely turned you on. You leaned in and were about to lick his cheek when he stood up. He leaned over you and pinned your wrists to the chair. It was somewhat painful and you whimpered. He immediately loosened his grip; it still kept you pinned but it didn’t hurt. You looked up at him, playing the innocent. “Did you want something, commander?” 

He fucking GROWLED and his feral gaze raked you over in a way that would have made you uncomfortable with anyone else. “Oh, princess, the things I want to do to you…” 

You batted your eyes at him. “Well, I’m not going anywhere…”

Poe picked you up by the wrists, taking care not to pull too hard and yanked you to him. “I want you so damn bad right now.” His hands roamed your body, taking care to brush your slit, but not too hard. 

In a matter of half a second, you went from sober to putty in his hands. “What’s stopping you, then?”

Poe growled again, turned you around and bent you over the table, pinning you to it with his body. He ground himself against your ass, then stood up, keeping a hand against your back between your shoulder blades. 

“I never got a chance to appreciate your ass last night and I am regretting it: you have the most lucious one I have ever seen—“ He pressed a kiss to one of your butt cheeks and rubbed the other one with a rough hand—then smacked it, leaving a red mark. “You’ve been a bad girl, thinking I’d just up and leave you…” 

_Smack._ You groaned.

“Bad, bad girl…” 

_Smack._

He bent over you and kissed the back of your neck, then spanked you one last time before pinning you once again to the table with his body. 

As he did, he ran his hands down your curves, one sliding under your underwear on your hip and the other between your legs to rub your clit. You were already wet for all the good it did him and he noticed. He planted a sloppy kiss against your head in front of your ear. He moved the hand on your hip and you heard his pants hit the floor.

You felt his sizable erection against your ass cheek. “Poe—“

A hand tangled in your hair and turned your head to the side; Poe’s voice in your ear purred: “What was that, princess?”

“Commander—please—“ His hand on your clit was driving you to the good kind of crazy. 

“You need to be more specific—nngh!” You backed your hips into his with more pressure than you intended. 

“Oh no, not yet—“ He let go of your hair and released you, then dropped to his knees behind you. He eased you up onto the table, then spread your legs and gave your vulva an experimental lick. 

“P—commander—“ Poe didn’t respond; he poked his tongue into you and licked and sucked as he gently flicked your clit with his fingers. You could feel your climax building again: “—I’m gonna—“

And...that bastard stopped. “Oh no, not yet, Y/N…you don’t get to cum until I decide.” 

You whined as Poe ran two fingers up and down your entrance. “—please—“

He inserted a finger and began thrusting it, tentatively at first, then more urgently as he palmed himself behind you, making his own whimpering noises. “I don’t know if I can hold out much longer—“ 

Your plea came out in a single breath: “pleasefuckmecommander—!”

Before you finished, Poe was pinning you down again with his body, the head of his cock against your entrance. “In or out?”

 _Huh? Oh—_ “In—oh!” 

Poe shoved himself into you to the hilt with one smooth thrust. He whisper-gasped out your name as he began thrusting, reaching around to grab your wrist with one hand and pin it to the small of your back while entangling the other hand in your hair. 

Your climax surprised you with a rush and you screamed out his name against your arm as he gasped yours like a prayer and emptied himself inside you with several hard thrusts. He collapsed on you with a kiss to your cheek. “Did I hurt you? Are you okay with me being rough like that?” 

Gasping from the intensity of your orgasm as much as from Poe pulling out, you turned over, almost falling off the table. Bonelessly, you slide to the floor and watched with amusement as his cum dripped out. “I’ll let you know if it’s too rough, but I want a turn too!” 

“Well, we’ve only got about half a day before you have to go back…” Poe snickered and offered you a slightly smashed pastry and your now cold caf. 

“Give me a few hours, a shower and a chance to eat some more then we’ll talk about YOUR behavior, young man!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so after this chapter, it miiiight get angsty.

“Too tight?” You tested the bindings against the headboard—which was basically one of your not-lacy bras—around Poe’s wrists. You looked at his face; he was staring at your chest. “Oy! Up here!”

His eyes snapped to your face. “Sorry, Y/N— nnngh!”

You tangled your hand in his hair and yanked (not too hard). “What was that?”

“Uh—yes, commander—mmmph—“ He gave you his trademark grin as you whacked the inside of his thigh with a wooden spoon. 

“Remember, good boys get to cum; bad boys get punished.” You whacked the inside of his thigh again. “Out of character, though: are you okay with this? Not being in charge for once?” 

“Oh yes. If the First Order came bursting through that door, I’d die a happy man—ow!” Whack went the spoon. 

“If they come bursting in, we’re both dead,” you responded. “The safe word is ‘porg’.” You used your shirt to blindfold him. 

You lifted a candle that had been burning and trickled was over Poe’s chiseled torso and watched as his abdominal muscles contracted against the unexpected warmth; he moaned and his head fell back. 

With a grin, you grabbed a metal spoon that had been resting in ice and laid it on his skin just below his navel. The contrast in temperature made Poe gasp in surprise. “C-commander—“

“You giving in already?” You bent down and kissed where his leg met his hip, then trailed your tongue across his body through the dark coarse hair o where his half erect penis met his groin. 

“—more—“

You stopped and entangled your hand in his hair. “More, what?”

“M-more, commander—please—“ Poe’s voice hitched. 

You disengaged your hand from his hair and reached back to wrap your hand around his now hardened shaft. He bucked his erection up into your hand with a moan. “Oh no, not yet… you don’t get yours until I get mine.”

“—y-yes, commander—“ 

Poe was still blindfolded and tied to the bed. You eased yourself up past his chest then grabbed the headboard. Your pubic area was close enough for Poe to taste… and you know he wanted to. He strained on the bra tying his wrists to the headboard, trying to lean in with his mouth open. You gently whacked his tongue with the wooden spoon—hitting it hard would defeat the purpose of this. 

You ripped the blindfold off his head. “You want a taste?” 

“Oh stars, yes—“

You slid back enough to where you could bend your head close to his. You kept his head immobilized with your hands and lightly licked a trail from his mouth (gaping and trying to capture any part of your skin it could) to his ear and whispered into it: “Beg for it.” 

Poe gasped as you sat up on his chest (the junction between your legs slick with your arousal) and you pulled yourself up, your slit just out of reach of Poe’s mouth. 

“—please—let me taste you—I wanna—make you cum, commander—please—“ Poe babbled. 

“Good boy.” You met his mouth with your mound and gasped as he licked you, then attached his mouth to your clit and began sucking on it. 

You rode his face (making sure Poe could still breathe) for a few moments, then gasped harder as he hummed into you, murmuring “come for me, commander” into your lower lips. He stuck his tongue into your cunt and continued sucking and thrusting his tongue as you ground into his face harder. 

Your orgasm was gentle and lukewarm and you melted into the wall, putting your head on it momentarily—at least until Poe nipped you lightly, reminding you he was still underneath you. You undid the bra restraints and he sat up; you slid down him and he caught you. 

“You okay? I wasn’t trying to suffocate you—mmph!” He silenced you with a kiss and you could still taste your juices on him. 

You pushed him back down gently and eased your mouth down towards his navel, trailing kisses. “I said good boys get to cum, and you’ve been a very good boy, so…” You pinned his wrists to the bed as you moved towards his (probably painful) erection. 

Slowly, you took him into your mouth, your eyes never leaving his face. His eyes widened then closed and he fell back against the bed with a blissful groan. “Y/N…”

You ignored the ‘transgression’ of him not acknowledging you were in charge this session and began sucking. 

“What would they say, huh? What would the First Order say if they knew you were sucking my cock?” He bucked his hips as you bobbed down and you nearly gagged as his length hit the back of your throat. 

You hollowed your cheeks and released Poe’s wrists; he grabbed the back of your head and fucked up into your mouth. 

“Oh, commander—I’m gonna cum—gonna cum deep in you—“ he gasped, his thrusts getting harder and harder until, with several hard ones and a moan of your name, he emptied himself into your mouth. 

“Mmm… a change of pace is nice…” he said after he caught his breath. 

“It felt good to be in charge in bed for once,” you chuckled. “I still like it when you’re in charge.” 

Poe grew quiet as he held you to him, still breathing heavily from your exertions. After a few minutes and his breathing had evened out, he spoke softly. “What’s going to happen tomorrow?”

“Hm?” You had almost fallen asleep. 

“After we leave Takodana. What’s going to happen to…?” 

“I...I don’t know, Poe.” You bit your lip. “I guess we’ll go back to our respective places.” 

“Will we see each other again?” Poe turned your head so he was looking into your face. 

Something in his soft eyes made you stop thinking about...well, everything. “I...Poe, I don’t know how we’d do that…” 

“You’re on Starkiller Base; I can't come to you unless I’m being taken prisoner. And not in the fun way.” 

“I'm applying for a transfer. My time is up there anyways.” You sat up, hunting for the menu for the curry place you had procured from the front desk. “I don’t even want to be there. I’m a doctor, dammit, not a torturer, not a mortician… I went to med school to help people and the First Order just didn’t want to do that. They don’t even want me to treat the troopers; they just say that treatment makes them weak.” 

You pulled on a shirt and a pair of sweats. “How having a broken arm from training or an illness is seen as weak, I’ll never know. But I just can’t take it anymore. I don’t even know how I’d get out—.” 

Poe sat up too, grabbing your wrist and pulling you down beside him on the bed. “There IS another way.”

You looked at him, trying to restrain tears from falling from your eyes. “If I defect, they’ll plaster my face everywhere. I’ll be hunted down til the end of my days or they kill me. They’re still looking for FN-2187–“

“Finn.” 

“And—Beg pardon?”

Poe looked at you with hard eyes. “His name is Finn, not FN whatever.” 

You smiled. Anything to get off the subject of your death if you were discovered sleeping with a resistance pilot—and Poe Dameron at that. “Okay, ‘Finn’ then. That make take some time; I knew him as his designation. I always thought it was barbaric.”

Poe’s expression was unreadable. “Thought what was barbaric?” 

“Removing people’s identities. Taking children and making them...I don’t know, equipment, not people.” You put your hands on your knees. “Only officers get names; enlisted troops are basically just...chattel. Property. Expendable equipment.” 

Poe pulled you closer to him. “You constantly amaze me, you know that?” 

As he held you to him, you felt...safe. You felt like as long as he held you, nothing in the galaxy could hurt you.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so I’m not really good at touchy feely emotional sex.

TAKODANA, DAY 3

You woke up before Poe this time. You were nestled up to his bare chest, your head tucked under his. 

After your experimentation, you two had eaten and went out one at a time to take in the sights. The curry was as amazing as you had thought it was and after you two shared a dinner which taught you that Poe preferred sabacc over dejarik and informed Poe that your favorite color was the gentle red of the Yavin gas giant, you made love. He worshipped your body as you worshipped his and it was emotionally as well as physically rewarding. No centimeter of either body went untouched by hand or tongue or lips. 

As you both reached a simultaneous orgasm, it hit you.

You just might be in love with this man. 

Now, as Poe lay asleep next to you, snoring softly in your ear, you didn’t want to go back. 

Back to the cold, passionless passageways, bulkheads and portholes of the First Order. Back to corpses and tortures. 

Back to...what? 

Your mind wandered back to Poe and his words last night. Another way… 

Poe stirred besides you. “...morning, beautiful. Do you want some caf?” 

“Caf sounds delicious.” You rose, naked, giving Poe a good eyeful of your ass. He reached out with a sleepy hand and patted it. 

“Where are you going? I can get it.” 

“To shower. I have to go back soon and showers on the Supremacy are awful.” 

A shadow crossed Poe’s face; he sat up then flung the covers off to dress. You claimed the shower while he did so, washing and shaving in about ten minutes. 

“About last night before we got distracted,” you said as you pulled on a pair of shorts. “What were you saying about another way?”

“Spy for the Resistance. Wherever you get stationed, spy for us. You’re an officer and you get access to things that would help.” Poe pulled on a pair of pants then a tank top. “It’ll be dangerous—“

“More dangerous than sleeping with the best pilot in the resistance?” You lifted a sardonic eyebrow. 

“Very much so,” Poe said seriously. He walked over to you and put his hands on your shoulders. “I...I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, Y/N. You’re possibly the best thing to come out of the First Order in...well, ever.” 

You blushed. Poe grabbed your shirt and pulled it over your head. “I’m going to check out. Wait seven minutes then check yourself out and meet me in the clearing three clicks from here.” With a kiss, he reached for the door and was gone. 

Gone. 

Your stomach hollowed. 

After seven minutes, you checked out. 

You had both been careful not to be seen together, but you could never be too careful. During your sessions, you’d both taken care to be as quiet as you can be and not scream each other’s names, preferring instead to gasp them into shoulders, necks, pillows or bedding. Nobody up in command knew you were here. 

The clearing was beautiful, all greens and sun rays. 

But what really caught your attention was the black and orange X-wing in the center. Your eyes took it in hungrily; you’d always wanted to fly but the First Order decided your medical skills were more important. You walked around it, checking out the foils, the cannons, everything. 

“Like what you see?” You turned around to see Poe standing under the fuel port, wearing his crew pants and no shirt. 

“Oh very much so—and the pilot isn’t bad looking either!” You winked and Poe chuckled. 

“I’m cut to the core, Y/N!” He placed a hand across his chest. “But on a serious note, I’m done with preflight checks.” 

“Leaving so soon?” 

Poe was halfway up the ladder when he turned and you swore you nearly came in your only clean pair of underwear. “Your shuttle doesn’t leave for another eight hours. Me, on the other hand, I have days to spare. Come with me, I want to show you something.” He held out his hand—

And you took it. He pulled you into the cockpit and put a flight jacket on you, then pulled an extra one onto himself. He settled in the pilot seat as you gave an excited squeak. “Whoa, I’ve always wanted to fly some day!”

“Why not today?” Before you could respond, Poe broke his eyes from your ass and pulled you into his lap. 

And before you could stop him, he closed the canopy and powered up the X-wing. He guided it up through the clearing and as soon as it was away from the trees, he pulled back on the throttle. The X-wing took off, the G-forces pushing you back into Poe’s lap. You whooped out of sheer joy—and certainly not because of the now noticeable erection in his pants. 

Poe guided the X-wing over the forests and lakes, then followed the river, barely touching it. Mountains rose on either side, snow capping the tips. You gazed at your surroundings with the wonder of someone who had been trapped in a colorless and drab environment their entire life. Poe flew the X-wing through a lazy loop over the lake; when you looked “up” at the apex of the loop, you saw the lake and tiny islands dotting it. 

Poe landed the X-wing on a plateau halfway up a mountain. You launched yourself out of the cockpit, whooping and laughing like a child off of an amusement park ride. Poe joined you on the ground. “That was AMAZING! I can’t describe—that was—wow! The way you did the barrel roll—that loop—I can’t—“

The view cut you off mid sentence. 

It was… Beautiful didn’t describe it. It was chilly out and you were grateful for the flight jacket. The lake lay out before you, surrounded by low mountains capped with snow. The sun was leaning towards the horizon and clouds were coming up behind you. It was peaceful, serene and just flat out gorgeous. You had only seen this type of scene in holodramas. 

And then… “What is that?” 

From the clouds gently rolling over the mountains dropped white flakes. Gently they collected in your hair and on the ground away from the warm X-wing. 

“Is that—“ 

“Have you never seen snow before?”

You looked over at Poe; he was staring at you in wonderment. “No, I’ve spent most of my life in space. I’ve only seen something like this in pictures. The weather generator on Starkiller has been broken since I was stationed there. They were working on it when I left, but...” 

It began to get colder and you shivered, both from the temperature and delight as Poe held you to him. “Let’s go sit in the cockpit for a little bit.”

You two ascended the ladder, Poe first so he could sit down and pull you into his lap. 

Before the cockpit door closed to keep in the warmth, you were kissing him deeply with gratitude for showing you why. 

Why what, you weren’t sure, but you understood WHY now. 

As the snow fell, Poe undressed you slowly, taking his mouth to open areas of your skin. Several seconds of fumbling later and you were both naked, you sitting on Poe’s lap with his bulging erection pressed against you. He turned you around, kissing your ear and gently bent you over the dash, your hands against the cockpit glass. He trailed his tongue down your spine as you shuddered in pleasure. 

“I’ve been wanted to do this with you since I saw you, princess,” he purred in your ear. He took two fingers and swiped them between your legs. “Oh you are definitely ready…” He slid himself into you and you gasped, then he sat back in the seat, pulling you back onto him. 

“—oh!” This new angle hit every part of you that you wanted hit; you reached back and wrapped one hand in his hair while you took his other hand and guided it to one of your breasts. He happily took it in hand and put his mouth against the area of skin where your neck and shoulder met. 

“Look—“ he took his other hand and gently guided your head to look out the cockpit glass. It took you a few seconds to realize that the cockpit had turned reflective: you saw every beautifully obscene or obscenely beautiful detail. 

“How—?” 

“It’s—for keeping light out—on long trips.” Poe’s words were punctuated with rather distracting thrusts. He returned his mouth to your shoulder and bit down gently. 

“Poe—“ 

“Look—look at how—beautiful you are—princess—“ Poe gasped into your ear as he thrust up into you. He moved his other hand to rub lightly against your clit and you cried out from the sensation. “That’s it—louder—no one can—hear you—out here—“ 

You moaned as your climax built. “Poe—“

“Louder—princess—scream my name—“

The wave of your climax built with each thrust and you began gasping—

“Come on—cum for me—princess—“ Poe moved your hand to his balls and you began massaging them gently and in time with his thrusts. “Oh, Y/N—yes—“ He leaned back and thrust harder and harder up into you. 

Your climax crescendoed in a symphony of light, noise and feeling and you threw your head back onto Poe’s shoulder, crying out his name at the top of your lungs. He fell over the edge soon after, calling out your name. You rode him until the very end, relishing the feeling of him and his own pleasure inside you. 

“Stars, princess…” He kissed the side of your neck, then your cheek. “...you’re so beautiful.” 

You laid back against him, tears coursing down your cheeks. 

The time for you to leave came too fast.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And heeeeere we go!

Poe brought the X-wing back to the shuttle area about half an hour before you were due to return to the shuttle. He insisted on helping you down from the X-wing, which you giggled and permitted him to do so. 

You stood holding his hands for not long enough when you realize you still wore his flight jacket. You made a move to strip it off but he stopped you. “Keep it.” 

“Poe, I can’t—“

“Sure you can; I have another.”

You shook your head. “Poe, I literally can’t. If it’s found on reentry inspection, I’ll be executed, no questions asked.” You pushed the jacket into his hands. “Please, once this is done, I’ll take whatever you offer me, but please don’t ask this of me now. If you want me to do the things we talked about, I need to stay alive.” 

His eyes shadowing, Poe nodded. “I’ll hold on to it for you.” He leaned closer and purred in your ear: “maybe I’ll even get to fuck you in it.” You shivered with anticipation. 

You kissed his cheek as he pulled away and his lips brushed yours. He took your hand in his and you felt something small and hard in it. “I got this from the gift shop for you.” 

Your eyes widened. “I—I didn’t get anything for you—“ 

“You gave me the best time I’ve ever had, Y/N.” Poe dropped a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Meet me at that place in two weeks.” 

The shuttle to the launchpad honked impatiently. You reached into your shirt and pulled out your ID tags and slipped them into Poe’s hands. “If I miss you, I’m dead.” It was meant as a joke but Poe didn’t smile.

“You don’t get to die on me, now,” he whispered as put his hand on your cheek. “I...be safe now.” 

The transport honked again. “I...I have to go, Poe.” You kissed his palm, then his cheek, then his lips, then boarded the transport. 

You kept your eyes locked with Poe’s until the transport was out of site, then looked down at the thing Poe had slipped into your hand. 

It was a smooth univalve shell, less than half the size of your hand, on a leather necklace. 

———

As soon as you stepped back onto Starkiller Base, you felt...depressed. Evidently the environmental simulation crew managed to get the weather adjuster online and there was actual SNOW on the ground. All it did was remind you of Poe. 

Your reinspection went as expected: everything you brought back was checked over and logged. The necklace passed inspection and was given back to you. You still hadn’t figured out what he meant by “meet me here in two weeks” and the necklace.

Two hours later, in the middle of the night cycle, you sat straight up in your bunk. You reached down to the necklace at your breast and pulled it up to your face. 

THERE—in the hollow of the shell was a piece of flimsi. You pulled it out and uncrumpled it.

On the front was a list of things Poe needed you to get from Starkiller Base as well as a frequency and backup frequency to send the information. 

On the back were coordinates. You went to your holo tablet and entered in the coordinates, smiling to yourself. 

You had your destination.

———

The next day, you felt like you were walking on air. As opposed to the last whatever amount of time you had spent on Starkiller, you finally had a purpose, a goal. 

And a time limit. 

You checked into your duty station, whistling. Your human assistants stared at you; it was the first time in, well—ever, that you had come into work in a mood other than “depressed” or “annoyed”. 

Your first request from Poe was movements of the base. You tracked movements so you could track the stars for a hobby, so that was easy enough. You downloaded the previous movements onto a storage chip and slid it into the shell, making sure nobody saw you. Nobody did; the perks of having your own office were wonderful. 

Your second request was slightly more difficult—you needed construction plans for the base. You managed to convince security that it was for a new medical wing (“for neurology!”) but they still side-eyed you as you downloaded not just the plans for the hospital but the entire planet. “I won’t be able to put a neurology wing by the reactor, I have to put it as far away from one as possible or there will be MASSIVELY unpleasant side effects!” 

Your third request was pretty much impossible: the whereabouts of Kylo Ren. You knew he was on Starkiller but you just couldn’t figure out his schedule. 

You were able to ascertain that the frequency worked but you weren’t able to speak to anyone without giving away your mission. You told IT security that it was your mute father and once the connection was made, you sent a message to your “daddy” regarding his “groceries, home improvement project and his old war buddy”. You coded the information as best you could but we’re still absolutely terrified that someone would stand up and call you a liar and blow your brains out. 

Either nobody cared or they had bigger things to worry about. 

Days later, you got a message from “daddy” about his “groceries” and other needs. He thanked you and asked if you could take a vacation to come see him. 

“No, daddy, I have work to do here.”

The second message came back as soon as you sent the response to the first one. He must have been near the comms. _Please come out, I want to see you again._

You bit back a smile as you responded “I’ll come as soon as I’m able to, but it won’t be for a few days.” 

Poe’s response to that was chilling: _I may not have a few days, princess, I need to see you now._  
  
And it hit you. 

The information you provided set up an attack. 

Not that you weren’t grateful, you just weren’t expecting one this soon. “Can you wait, daddy? I have things to take care of at work first.”

_No, princess, come out NOW._

Which meant the attack was imminent. “I’ll see what I can do, daddy.” 

_Please be safe, princess. If you can get away to see your mother’s grave near that beach on Chandrila, go there. She liked it when your hair was red.”_

The shell. A beach. On Chandrila. That romantic son of a bantha— You smiled inwardly. “I’ll check out the beach later; let me finish up here.” 

_Princess—_

The entire building shuddered— 

_—get out NOW—_

You severed the connection and took off towards the hangar. 

Alarms sounded and you knew soon you’d be called into duty; you ran back to your room and grabbed a bag, a spare set of scrubs, some underwear, your hand blaster and some spare energy packs, hoping you wouldn’t have to use the latter two. 

You slung the bag over your shoulder and RAN. 

As you ran down the hall, you nearly ran into a wall. 

A moving wall. You fell back with a grunt and looked up. Kylo Ren brushed past you without so much as an apology. You noticed his hand on his side and when you got up, you saw droplets on the floor. 

_Blood._

You changed course from the hangar to the med station. As you ran in, frightened personnel looked towards you. “Commander—we’re under attack—“ 

“Grab what medical supplies and droids you can and clear out. Do not wait for me!” You grabbed antiseptic, bandages, sedatives and other basic first aid materials and shoved them in your bag. You also made sure to grab the medical tablets and gave them to the sergeant. “See that these make it to wherever you go. This place is coming apart and the less we have to worry about getting, the less command will come down on us. Get your people out of here NOW and do not kriffing wait for me!” 

You made sure you were the last one out of the medical ward. You had no intention of going back to any medical ward the First Order had to offer and you couldn’t afford to leave witnesses; ‘going down with the ship’ was a perfect way to fake death and clear out. 

With two full packs and a satchel, running was harder but you still managed to make it to the hangar— 

When your name was called out. You turned to the sound of the voice and the hair on the back of your neck rose. Boarding a shuttle was General Armitage Hux; behind him strapped on a stretcher was a flailing and very angry Kylo Ren. “Doctor, you need to come with us—now!” 

You lost color in your face—he must have known. 

“We need you to treat HIM—!” Hux pointed to Ren. 

You boarded the shuttle with both bags— 

—and were launched forward into the shuttle by an explosion. 

“Get us in the air now!” Hux screamed as he slammed the door closed. “Take us to the Supremacy!” 

You picked yourself up off of the floor of the shuttle, dazed. Your hearing was shot; it felt like you were trying to hear out of two kilos of bantha wool in your ears. Your eyes were fine, there was no visible blood on your torso and your knees were scraped. No concussion, no worrying amount of blood, nothing immediately pressing. 

“Doctor—“ A trooper helped you to your feet. 

“...my bags…” No medical droids had made it aboard the shuttle; you were on your own. Despite being stuck in the morgue, your medical training for live subjects came rushing back to you. 

“They’re here, but—“ 

“Bring them to me, trooper—“ 

You stood over Kylo Ren, who was still flailing and screaming. One hand held the right side of his face; the other fought off any attempt at placating its owner, which included you being smacked in the face. “Ack—hold him down!” 

Two troopers immediately restrained Ren while the third stared at you. “Commander—“ 

“NOW, trooper, or I’ll have you peeling tubers for a cycle!” Oh, the perks of being an officer. The third trooper joined his compatriots. 

“I’m going to sedate him—hold him down!” 

As they did, you plunged a needle into Ren’s neck; within three breaths, his flailing weakened and his screams petered out. He lapsed into unconsciousness. “Get up but stay close by.” 

They released him and the third trooper stared at you. “Commander—“ 

You looked down at Ren. An ugly gash worked its way down from just above the inner corner of his right eyebrow down through his face (missing his eye), then down his neck (barely missing his carotid artery) and continuing past his shoulder to end just above his right pectoral muscle. You enlisted a trooper and Hux to help you remove what remained of Ren’s tunic off his chest. There was also a blaster wound of a large caliber, probably a bowcaster, and a cauterized puncture to his shoulder. There were other wounds but they were minor. 

The wound on his neck and face was cauterized but it still needed cleaning; when Ren came to, you’d probably have to remind him that he was insanely lucky—preferably from several planets away. Being in the same vicinity as Ren often required anyone to become more familiar with lightsaber wounds quickly. A direct hit on a major organ was more often than not fatal, a glancing blow made a person wish it was fatal and a nick was reminiscent of burning oneself on the stove. You also knew that a partially cauterized artery didn’t necessarily stop a hemorrhage: the arterial pressure would force blood through the site and the victim would bleed out before help could get there. The inflicting instrument being a lightsaber, infection was less likely but still a possibility. 

You had the troopers hold Ren down as you cleaned out his wound and applied synthskin bandages. He would need to be checked out by med droids in a more sterile environment but this would buy him time. 

The side wound should have been fatal but force users worked in mysterious ways, you found out. It looked to be a direct his but once you examined Ren, you found that the damage was only superficial. It would hurt like hell for some time but there was no internal damage. 

As you worked, you began to get woozy. You ignored it and continued working on Ren. 

After several more minutes, the synthskin molded itself to Ren’s wound and you stood up— 

And collapsed. The troopers ran to assist you. One of them told you: “you’re hurt, you took some shrapnel to your back. We’ve been trying to tell you—“ 

“...how bad?” 

“You’re not hemorrhaging and it didn’t appear to hit any major organs but you still need treatment.” General Hux directed the troopers where to put you as he put on a pair of sanigloves. All troops, regardless of rank, were required to undergo basic medical training. They couldn’t, say, reattach a severed limb or remove an organ but they could triage each other to buy time for medical droids to come in and save the day. 

The troopers carried you in between them towards another bunk but you didn’t make it, not even trying to avoid the dive into unconsciousness. 

_———_

You woke some time later. How much time, you didn’t know. You sat up and tried to move your hand to your back, only to find that it was stun cuffed to the bed. 

General Hux sat across from you, holding something. “You’re awake.” 

“Why—?” You motioned to the cuff. 

Without a word, Hux stood up and held out what it was he had been holding. 

Poe’s shell. 

With the storage chips of information you had been sending to him. 

The color drained from your face. 

“Your execution is in 48 hours, once Supreme Leader Snoke is informed of your treason.” Hux turned and looked over his shoulder as he walked away. “Such a shame, you had a promising career.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A second posting today because I ruv u alllll

__

“I’m sure she made it off in time, friend-Poe.”

BB8’s attempt at comfort did not do its intended job. Poe Dameron sat on a bench on the base, a set of ID tags in his hand and tears streaming down his face. 

The attack on Starkiller Base had been immensely successful for the Resistance but there was no way she could have gotten off in time. Not before the planet was destroyed. 

He took another shot of the whiskey BB8 had so thoughtfully brought him then put his head in his hands, tags dangling and sobbed. 

__

There had been plenty of women that he had been attracted to and slept with but none like this one. She was different. She was the only one he took for a flight, the only one who he would let control him, his match, his equal. 

__

Every time he thought about her, he remembered how he couldn’t bring himself to say those three words when he took her back to that shuttle. He remembered how he couldn’t tell her that he had thought about her nightly. That her favorite color was a gentle red, the sheer joy on her face during the short flight, the awe of the beautiful mountain scene. That he wanted to swoop in and rescue her if she permitted. 

__

That he had fallen hopelessly, deliriously and irrevocably in love with her. 

__

It wasn’t the sex, though that was a bonus. 

__

It was everything. 

__

Poe let out a sob and a gentle hand laid itself on its shoulder. He turned; it was General Organa. 

__

“Mind telling me why my best pilot is not celebrating?”

__

“I...I can’t.” Poe gripped the ID tags in his palm so hard they nearly split the skin. 

__

“Commander Dameron, I could order you to give them to me.” 

__

____

The owner of the tags was...Poe couldn’t bring himself to say “dead”. Wordlessly, he handed them to Organa. 

__

“These are First Order ID tags, commander.” That steely voice. “You appear to have some explaining to do.” 

__

Poe took a deep breath. “During my captivity, I met someone—“

__

“Oh, Dameron—“ Organa put a hand to her eyes and shook her head. 

__

“She was the doctor assigned to clean up after interrogations. I tried to flirt my way into getting her to undo the restraints so I could escape. She didn’t fall for it.”

__

General Organa shook her head with a chuckle. “The woman who is immune to the charms of Poe Dameron is a rarity…” 

__

“She gave Finn the door code.” 

__

“How do you know that?” The hard voice returned. 

__

“She and Ren were the only ones with the codes. Given that Ren had just tortured me for Skywalker, it was easy to figure out.”

__

“Continue.” 

__

Poe took another shot. “So Finn got me out and then I ended up on Jakku, got back with the resistance and yadda yadda. Right after the mission on Takodana, I ran into her again.” 

Organa raised an eyebrow. 

__

“She was about to be raped by pirates after they slaughtered her platoon and I wasn’t about to allow that to happen, so I rescued her.” Yet another shot. “We ended up on Takodana again after her debriefing. I asked her to—”

“Poe—“

“—spy for me, for us.”

“Risky.”

“She AGREED. Said she didn’t want anything further to do with the First Order.” She hadn’t actually said that but Poe could see she was definitely thinking of it.

The general looked taken aback. “Is that how—“

“How I got more detailed information about Starkiller.”

Organa’s face softened. “...and she was on it when it blew.” 

Poe put his head in his hands. “I tried to warn her as we were coming in. It wasn’t enough time.” 

“Oh, Poe. I’m so sorry.” Organa handed over the tags. 

“I just...I need some time.” Poe took back the tags. He clasped his hands around them and put them up to his forehead. 

“I’ll have a shot with you, in her memory.” Organa produced another shot glass from the cabinet and poured them each a draught. “To her.”

“To her.” 

They drained the glasses and Organa refilled them. “This stuff is vile, Poe.” 

“That’s why I’m drinking it, General.” 

They drained the glasses again. The general left Poe to his grief. He spent the rest of the night trying to drown the grief in liquor, wrapped in the flight jacket she had worn, her tags wrapped around his wrist. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this turned into a monster. There’s only a few chapters left, I promise and I definitely promise smut.

_Well shit._

You’d been locked to the bunk in the shuttle for several hours. 

You had two days until your execution. You had to figure out some way to get to Poe. With your limited IT knowledge, you could make a communicator, but you had no idea where you were. At the very least, you could tell him you were alive and you made it and to come and get you.

Kriff it, you were going to make life absolutely MISERABLE for Hux and whoever else was aboard the vessel that was conscious. “Hey—HEY! I have to use the refresher!” While you were there, you grabbed the metal bar to the paper and slid it into your sleeve. 

Ten minutes after that, you begged for something to eat. A protein bar was thrown at you. You saved the wrapper.

Five minutes after that, you demanded a drink. You kept the glass. 

Eight minutes after THAT, you haaaaad to use the refresher again. “I will literally piss in this bunk if you don’t let me up!”

And then Hux, all red haired and indignant fury, walked into the room. “Firstly, commander, you can stop collecting useless junk. We are in deep space and unless you have access to the comlinks, you won’t reach anyone with any type of device you’re trying to build. Secondly, Starkiller is GONE because of you so don’t think I’m above committing a war crime at this very moment.”

 _What?_ Your face betrayed the confusion your voice could not. 

“You heard me. Starkiller Base is destroyed. They didn’t just hit the buildings, they blew up the entire planet. It’s in atoms scattered in space a thousand klicks from here. Because of YOU.” Hux bent down to your face and his voice went to a deadly soft whisper.

“And if you think for one microsecond I will allow you to get away with destroying my hard work, you’ve got another thing coming.” 

He stood up and brushed invisible lint off of his shoulder: “Oh and your Resistance boyfriend? He’s among those ashes. Couldn’t escape the planet’s destruction in time.” 

_No._ “You’re a liar.” 

“And very soon, you’ll join him.” Hux turned to leave. “On a holonet broadcast. Once we get on board the Supremacy, I will execute you live on the holonet so your precious Resistance can see what happens to their spies.” 

As Hux closed the door behind him, you let out a primal scream. 

Poe was...gone? He was dead? Hux was a damned liar, Poe was the best pilot in the Resistance and if this kriffing shuttle could make it out of the blast zone, Poe could too. Unless… Hux had every reason to lie to you and no reason to lie to you at the same time. 

You screamed at the door again. “You kriffing LIAR!!” Tears coursed down your face and you yanked on the stun cuffs until your wrists were bloody. Your back wounds split open too, leaving pinpricks of blood on your tunic. 

On the other side of the door, Hux called to you dryly: “I’d prefer it if you didn’t bleed on my bunk, commander; blood doesn’t come out easily.” 

“Kriff you to hell, Hux!”

———

Several hours later, the shuttle stopped; the Supremacy must have materialized in real space and the shuttle was docking. 

You were dragged from your catatonic state by Phasma and different troopers than were originally on the shuttle, so you were right. They silently escorted you off of the shuttle and to a cell, where you would be detained for the next 24 hours. 

You had been sitting for a few hours when your cell door opened. You remained seated.

“Commander Y/LN.” It was Kylo Ren. You turned to face him, saying nothing. The synthskin you had applied during triage was gone, replaced by a med droid’s stitches. Your doctor’s mind absently noted that the area wasn’t red and inflamed and that he was walking with a slight limp. 

What was there really to say? You weren’t going to plead for your life, you couldn’t plead for Poe’s and you had nothing else to offer the First Order. 

“Any last requests, commander?” His voice was hard velvet, but still softer than usual. 

You had nothing else left to lose. “I’m shocked you’re not force choking me or impaling me with your lightsaber.” 

Ren gave an amused snort. “The thought crossed Hux’s mind.”

“But not yours.”

“You saved my life, commander. I at least owe you some type of respect even if I can’t save your life.”

You sighed. “How…How will it be done?”

“Blaster to the back of the head. Hux wanted you to suffer but I convinced him otherwise.” Ren flexed his fingers in a choking motion in front of his neck. It was your turn to snort. 

“Four, then.” You held up four fingers. “One, I want my necklace back from Hux. It’s a shell about this big on a leather string.” One finger went down.

“Two: I want to be standing. I don’t kneel for anyone anymore.” The second finger went down. 

“Three: I want my ashes to be scattered where Starkiller went down, my home at Hosnian Prime and the coordinates in the shell.” You wouldn’t be buried; your body would be cremated and the ashes disposed of without ceremony. If you couldn’t be near Poe in life, you wanted to be near him in death. 

“Four: I want a shot of the best liquor on this bucket.” 

Ren chuckled. “That would be Hux’s personal stash! I will see what I can do about the first three but I can’t promise you the fourth.” Both of you knew that last requests were rarely denied unless they interfered with mission security or gave you a way out of your execution. Any of your meager possessions would be destroyed with you and odds are, the data chips in the shell were confiscated already. 

That night, you had the most peaceful sleep you had had in years.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dash of angst my ass. How about a whole Olympic sized pool full? 
> 
> May be a bit for my next update. I have to work. 
> 
> Or maybe I just want y’all to suffer. 
> 
> You’ll never know >;)

You woke later in the cycle. Your cell had no windows or chronos in it and you couldn’t tell how much time had passed.

You sat up and stretched, hissing as your back wounds cracked open. 

The cell door opened and Captain Phasma, four troopers and a droid came in. “It’s time, commander.” She produced a drab prisoner’s uniform. You were permitted a three minute shower and Phasma watched the whole time. It was disconcerting but Phasma didn’t seem like she liked it anymore than you did. 

The droid gave you a more invasive X-ray to make sure you weren’t hiding anything in body cavities. 

You walked with your head held high to the table where your personal information was taken down by a sympathetic looking sergeant, designation MA-5124.

“Name?”

“Y/N Y/LN.”

“Rank and duty station?”

“Commander, doctor, last duty station Starkiller Base.” 

“Home of record?”

“Hosnian Prime.” 

The sergeant’s pen shook slightly and he swallowed hard. “Next of kin?”

“None living.”

“Preferred place of disposal?”

“One third of my ashes scattered at Starkiller, one third at Prime and one third at a beach on Chandrila.” You gave the coordinates that Poe had given you. 

The sergeant wiped a tear from his eye. “Your final requests have been approved except for the liquor.” He gave your necklace to Phasma, who inspected it for anything that may be used to prevent your execution. Satisfied with her findings, Phasma gave it back to the sergeant, who opened it and gave it to you. Your hands cuffed and your throat closed, you motioned that the sergeant should put it on you. He did so, whispering in your ear “I’m sorry.” 

You knew this sergeant. He had been turned away by other doctors for treatment of a compound fracture of his right tibia. Had he not seen you, he would have been decommissioned, also known as ‘disposed of’. 

If anyone had survived Starkiller besides those on the escape shuttles, they would know you as the mortician who preferred to be a doctor. The healer. The savior.

And you knew that your death would not sit well with them. Hopefully it’ll give them an excuse. 

A private ran up to the sergeant, huffing and puffing and carrying a bottle and some shot glasses. “From Lord Ren, sergeant.” 

The sergeant smiled. “It appears the denial of your last request was overridden.” He accepted the bottle from the private and laid the shot glasses out on the table. 

There were three. “Drink with me, Captain, sergeant. Consider it a last request.” 

The sergeant chuckled. “Anything to get one over on Hux for this.” He poured the shots and distributed one to you, Phasma and himself. “Fair winds and following seas,” he said. An old parting from when space travel had not yet been invented. 

The three of you downed the shots. The liquor was smooth and silky, oaky with a hint of cinnamon. 

One the shots were done, you silently placed your glass, open side down, on the table. 

Head still held high, you were escorted to the hangar bay and led in front of a holocamera controlled by a droid. You were bodily moved where to stand and your feet were secured. The sergeant who took down your information whispered to you. “They would normally torture you for information first but someone intervened, saying you had nothing to offer.” 

_Ren._ “I really don’t.” 

“Hux is going to give some kind of speech about traitors and treason and whatnot, then EX-5489 will stand behind you and fire the kill shot.” The sergeant motioned to the executioner trooper off to the side. He wore white armor with a black stripe on the side. “I will be required to count to thirty, then check your pulse. EX is the best in this business so it’ll be quick and hopefully painless.” 

As the sergeant turned to leave, you whispered: “thank you. You’ve made this easier for me to accept.” 

The sergeant walked out a little taller than when he had walked in. 

Hux stood in front of the camera and motioned to you while speaking into it. “This former First Order officer has committed high treason against the First Order. She collaborated with the Resistance to pass on vital information, resulting in the destruction of Starkiller Base and the deaths of hundreds of thousands. The sentence for such acts is clear: execution.” 

EX-5489 locked and loaded his rifle and moved to stand behind you. You felt the barrel of the weapon against the back of your neck. 

“Let this be a warning to the enemies of the First Order!”

Hux nodded to the executioner. 

You kept your eyes locked on the General.

You heard a roar and the last thing you saw was the floor coming to meet your face.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this chapter, then Imma sit back and watch the world burn.

_You were floating._

_You still felt everything and decided you were going to haunt that sergeant who said you wouldn’t feel anything until the end of his days._

_You opened your eyes to a scene of absolute chaos. Fire and bodies were scattered everywhere. You had never believed in an afterlife but you found yourself in what could only be described as “hell”. It was, strangely enough, silent._

_You pushed yourself to your knees and looked around at your new home for eternity. In front of you was a hole about the size of your fist and it was surrounded by a burn mark and blood._

_Your blood._

_The smell of the place was getting to you and you coughed._

_Wait—did the dead cough? Why did your neck hurt? If you were supposed to be dead, why did you feel everything anyways?_

_And why were you still bound?_

_Someone appeared in front of you. It was the mortuary affairs sergeant. His mouth was moving but you couldn’t hear anything he said. You shook your head. He produced something and detached the stun cuffs still on your wrists._

Suddenly, everything hit you at once. 

“—out, NOW!” The sergeant—absently, your mind registered his designation as MA-5124–was pulling you to your feet as the Supremacy lurched sickeningly and your hearing returned. “Commander, we’ve got to go!” The sergeant pushed a blaster pistol into your hands and claimed the executioner’s rifle. The executioner lay some meters behind you, helmet caved in; your detached doctor’s mind decided he was dead. You put a hand to your hurting neck—it came away bloody but not an amount to be concerned with. You’d had worse nicks shaving your legs. It still stung. The most blood on you came from your nose; you guessed that you had hit it on the way down. You pressed a finger to it; it was tender and bruised but not broken. 

You looked around. Hux was nowhere to be found and the only living beings within a twenty meter radius were you and the MA sergeant. “What happened?” 

“I don’t know but we’ve gotta get out of here. To the shuttles!”

“On your six, sergeant, lead the way.” Part of being a leader was knowing when to yield the lead. You had no idea where on the Supremacy you were, having never actually been stationed on it, but MA did. 

“This way!” The Supremacy began to list and you both stumbled a bit. MA-5124 pulled you along the way, away from the direction that your body wanted you to fall. “The damage is that way and I will bet Hux’s scotch that there’s also a vacuum! Stay away from that direction or you’ll get sucked into space!”

You two ran, you following him down the hallway. He took a hard left, then a right and you barely kept up. After several minutes of running, you and the sergeant arrived at the hangar bay. “Snoke’s escape craft!” 

As MA ran across the hangar to the craft, an errant blaster beam cut him down. You fired in the direction of where it came from, tears in your eyes. You reached the fallen sergeant and pulled him to cover. 

His chest was bloody and the blood coming from his mouth was white and frothy: a fatal lung injury. He would not recover. He stared up at you, gasping his life out and pushed the rifle into your hands, then nudged you towards the shuttle. You stayed with him for several more seconds; his eyes turned glassy and he stopped breathing. 

You closed his eyes. “Thank you. Fair winds and following seas.” You slid the blaster pistol into the sleeve of your prisoner’s uniform then picked up the rifle. 

A cacophony of sound erupted near you; you heard Phasma speaking and a familiar voice you couldn’t place. You peeked over the debris to see Phasma confronting—FN-2187?! Finn—his name was Finn now. You didn’t have time to make sense of everything, much less the tiny raven haired woman in an officer’s uniform firing as Phasma. 

You crouch-ran towards the shuttle, only to be tripped by something round and fast. A droid. A non First Order droid. 

It chittered excitedly at you as you frantically tried to shush it. “You’re going to get us killed—!” Your binary translating skills were off but you could have sworn—

“Wait— did you just say something about Poe?”

The droid let out an electronic cheer and introduced itself as BB8. You missed everything else it said except—

“He’s alive??” You fell to your knees in blessed relief, tears beginning to stream down your face. “Poe’s alive?”

The droid cheered again then a series of beeps and hoots, rolling away. 

_Poe is ALIVE._ “Okay, you get your friends; I’m going to start up the shuttle—“ _He’s alive!_!

You and the droid split up. Abandoning literally any sense of tactical awareness and caution in favor of speed, you ran to the shuttle, ditching the rifle. 

In the cockpit, you frantically searched for the clipboard for preflight checks. It was nowhere to be found. “Kriff it.” You pressed the button to fire up the engines; they came to life with a great whoosh.

You lowered the cargo hatch for the droid and his friends, then went down to cover them. 

The droid was piloting a walker chassis towards you with Finn and the tiny girl on it. You were so taken aback by the sight that you missed movement off to your left. Only when Finn shouted “ON YOUR LEFT” did you come to your senses. 

The first blaster beam hit you in the left shoulder, spinning you around and slamming you against the bulkhead; the second entered your midsection to the left and about a hand’s width above your navel. 

And unlike your near miss in the execution chamber, this was real, this was happening.

You lost consciousness as you slid down the bulkhead, only dimly registering that Finn and Rose returned fire. 

_She was slumped against the bulkhead, bleeding from the shoulder and stomach. Rose and Finn each grabbed an arm; she groaned in pain as she was lifted and dragged into the shuttle. Rose ran to the cockpit and frantically started pulling at the steering yolk while Finn lifted her up and placed her as gently as he could on a bunk._

_“This is a bad idea, Finn—“_

_“She saved my life and countless others by changing our records. Remember what I told you about nonconformity?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“She altered the records to keep us safe.”_

_“...Poe…” the doctor whispered; her good hand lifted up, searching in her unconscious state, for what Finn didn’t know._

_BB8 found the medical pack in the ship and dragged it over to Finn, who tore open bacta patches and applied them to the doctor’s wounds._

_“I’m not Poe but we’re headed for him. Don’t die, Doc—“ Finn strapped her in as Rose guided the shuttle out of the hangar bay and towards Crait._

You were slammed back into a semi-conscious state by the shuttle crash landing...where? You had no idea. You faded back into unconsciousness as you dimly registered blasterfire and panicked voices. 

_”Finn! Rose! You’re not dead! Where’s my droid?”_

_BB8 came charging out of the crashed shuttle, beeping and hooting incessantly._

_“Wait—slow down—what? Found who—?!”_

_BB8 rolled behind Poe and pushed into his legs._

_“—and we picked up this officer that I knew—“ Finn was babbling to General Organa._

_Poe’s ears latched onto that sentence fragment as BB8 insisted on pushing him into the shuttle._

_And suddenly, there she was. Bloody, unconscious, gravely injured but ALIVE._

You were eased into consciousness by gentle hands on your face. “...up, Y/N, princess, my love, please—“ Gentle kisses peppered your face. You opened your eyes to see HIM. 

“...Poe…?!”

“Oh, princess—“ He pressed his forehead into yours, trying to hold back tears. 

You tried to lift a weak hand to his face—to assure yourself that yes, it WAS him, he was alive and right in front of you—but your arm seemed like it weighed thousands of kilos. Poe grabbed your hand and kissed the palm of it, then put it against his face for a second, then pressed it to your stomach wound. 

“I’m here—hang on, princess, just hold on—I’m here—don’t quit on me—“ He kissed your face again and held you to him while turning and shouting for a medic. “Don’t—don’t leave me—“

As your breathing slowed then stopped and your vision went red, then black, you wished you could have—


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I couldn’t wait a week. Here, take it and be glad I was in a good mood lol.

_Aboard the Millennium Falcon, after the battle at Crait, injuries were assessed. There were many, most minor but some serious and some fatal._

_Rose lay on a bunk, covered with a blanket, bloody and unconscious. She would survive._

_The former First Order doctor had her own bunk. Commander Dameron sat beside her comatose form, holding her hand in his. The wound to her abdomen included a cooked kidney, a burned artery and spinal cord and a singed lung. The bacta patches prevented other damage but Dr. Kalonia had to reach through the wound to completely close the artery to prevent a hemorrhage. Commander Dameron and Dr. Kalonia worked hard to stabilize her but she needed surgery and quickly. The next stop, Chandrila, provided that surgery as well as care for Rose and the other injured._

_Dameron had to be peeled off of the unconscious doctor before she could be wheeled into surgery._

_After nearly a day of touch and go surgery, the doctor made it. She had coded twice, once en route to the hospital and once on the table but Dr Kalonia and the droids were able to bring her back both times. The surgery included reconstruction of the artery and lung and removal of the destroyed kidney. The spinal cord had not been severed so paralyzation was not probable, but the injured doctor would still need extensive therapy to walk again._

_“She’s a fighter, that one…” General Organa said with admiration._

_Commander Dameron didn’t leave her side, electing to attend debriefings and meetings via comlink or holo. The nurses noticed he would hold the comatose woman’s hand during the meetings and teased him relentlessly about it. He shrugged it off and continued to remain by the doctor’s side._

**Ten weeks later**

You opened your eyes. Everything was blurry—

Then it came into focus: a room. It was plain and decorated in warm tones. Midday sun drifted through the windows. It appeared to be a room in a hospital. 

And something was in your left hand. You looked down. Another hand was in yours and your eyes slowly followed the arm to its owner. 

His head was down, using his other arm for a pillow and he was dozing. You tried to move your right hand to run it through his dark curls but the twisting motion set off a fire in your abdomen and made you gasp in pain.

Poe shot awake. His eyes settled on your face and you two stared for a few seconds. 

“Welcome back, princess…” Tears sprang from his eyes as he disentangled his hand from yours and put it on your face. “I thought I was going to lose you again. I thought that...” He trailed off.

“...no...but I gave it my best shot, though…” You felt his cheek just to be sure you weren’t hallucinating or dead.

“Yeah, you sure did.” He leaned in and kissed you, deeply, then sat back, your hand in his. “I should have told you how I felt before you had to go back but... I didn’t have the courage then.” He put his other hand on your face. “I fell harder than I thought for you; I need you, Y/N, and if there’s anything the last few months have taught me, it’s to not take anything for granted. I love you, princess—“

You pulled him to you again, ignoring the lance of pain in your abdomen and shoulder. “I’ve known for a while, Poe and I love you too. Now shut up and kiss me, flyboy.” 

 

**TWO YEARS LATER**

You stood in front of a mirror as Rose and Rey fluffed out your dress. “Wow, Y/N, you look beautiful.” 

Your injuries had healed and through weeks of physical therapy, you could walk again. Poe was there every step of the way, providing quiet encouragement when needed and fierce pride when you really would rather it didn’t show. He was there guiding you through physical therapy and helping you take your first shaky steps, softly reassuring you when you stumbling and loudly cheering when you were steady enough to stand on your own. 

After you had woke up from your three month coma, the first thing you insisted upon doing (after eating and bathing, of course) was sit down with General Organa and the other leadership and give them everything you knew about the First Order. It admittedly wasn’t much but it was helpful enough: you were given free reign of the base. 

You were assigned as an advisor to Dr. Kalonia and confined to a wheelchair. Once you could stay on your feet for short amounts of time, you were given your rank and a small medical command of your own. Dr. Kalonia was grateful for the other set of hands. She would give you frequent check ups, including removing the small bits of shrapnel that came to the surface with time and removing the defunct contraceptive implant. 

“When your heart stopped, it ceased functioning. Fascinating little device; I’ll have the techs try to replicate it.”

You recovered and you made new friends. Finn and Rose were among the closest friends you had; Rey, you counted as a friend, but were still unsure of—though you were generally unsure of things you didn’t have a scientific explanation for and the Force was one of those things. Still, you two were amicable, particularly after you told her about patching up Ren’s face and shoulder.

“Yeah, I… I did that…” Rey had the grace to blush when you asked her about the wound to Ren’s face.

“Look, to be fair, he probably had it coming!” You two laughed over a glass of water and nothing more was said on the subject.

With Poe, things were… heavenly. After you were discharged from the hospital, Poe took it upon himself to provide care when the nurses could not. He helped you bathe, dress and took a particular interest in washing your hair. He moved you into his barracks room to keep an eye on your health. Once Dr Kalonia had cleared you for… more rigorous activities, Poe took his time with you, lavishing affection on every part of your body, including your new scars.

The war raged on. There were new allies and new enemies while familiar ones died, whether from age or on the battlefield. Every time Poe left for a mission, your heart stopped metaphorically and didn’t start again until he came home. 

But that didn’t mean that life shouldn’t carry on and that levity and joy were not things to cherish. 

Three months ago, Poe proposed to you. He took you in his new X-wing to the beach he had promised to take you and showed you the most wonderful time you had ever had. At the end of the day, over dinner, he slipped his mother’s ring on your finger. 

Six weeks ago, your world stopped again, when you woke up throwing up. The test was positive. When you told Poe, he fainted. When he woke up, he became the most annoyingly protective partner; If you felt tired, he was right behind you with a chair. If you were hungry, he showed up with a meal. He insisted on being at all of your appointments—which, aside from finding out, have totaled exactly one to this point. It almost got to the point where you thought about snapping at him to leave you alone. 

But you were grateful for him; truth be told, you were absolutely and utterly terrified. Not only about bringing a child into this galaxy in the state it was in but how your body would handle it. You were glad to have him by your side through everything. 

Upon hearing the news of your pregnancy, you and Poe decided to get married sooner. Rose insisted on taking you dress shopping; if anyone had fashion sense in the Resistance, it was Rose.

Your dress flattered your coloring and your figure; it was the softest and most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. You insisted on wearing the flight jacket Poe had given you over the dress.

Having no family, the closest person to your past was Finn and he walked you down the aisle. General Organa presided over the ceremony. 

Trying not to throw up from morning sickness, you and Poe exchanged rings and vows. “...til death do us part.”

You kissed each other and for a few hours, all was right with the galaxy.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS SMUT BECAUSE I CAN

Poe set an easy pace with the picnic basket, taking care to allow you to catch up. Your injuries had all but healed but Dr. Kalonia was insistent that you take it slow and easy. You were to walk with a cane until she was confident you weren’t going to fall over but the damn thing wasn’t cooperating in the sand and Poe walked back to you to steady you against him. 

Three hours earlier, after your check up, Poe swung by the hospital in a landspeeder and picked you up. You two had been living together for nearly two years at this point; right after your discharge, it was evident that you were staying but you didn’t have any accommodations. Room was hard to come by so Poe offered up his room; he would sleep on the couch in the bedroom until you were ready to have him share the bed. That had lasted exactly three hours and while you were still too injured to reconnect physically, you immensely appreciated falling asleep in his strong arms. 

The nightmares began that night. The person who shot you was never discovered and you feared on a primal level that she or he would hunt you down and finish the job. The shadow in your dreams sometimes wore Hux’s face; sometimes it wore MA’s face, sometimes it was indiscernible. Logically you knew it was impossible for the demon to find you, but instinctually you feared every dark corner and refused to go anywhere alone. 

MA’s eyes also haunted you every time you closed yours and in many dreams, he would curse you for not saving him or beg you to heal him because that’s what doctors do. 

Poe, having been in that position before, understood. Cute novelty lights from any planet he happened to stop at during missions would randomly show up in the room and no corner went unlit with a soft, gentle light. The nightmares became far and few in between after time.

It also turns out that you could not cook. Having lived off of rations and protein packs, you had no idea how to put ingredients together to make a meal and on more than one occasion, you nearly burned the kitchenette down. Poe, on the other hand, was a fabulous cook and enjoyed preparing meals for you and your palette expanded. He even found a recipe for that Abednago curry from Takodana that you enjoyed. 

You were quite literally terrified at how well your life was going. It took several months for you to not be as on edge as you had been. It took several more months for you to open up to Poe about your life and your wants and wishes for the future, but you both wanted the same thing: peace, stability, a family.

Poe, spontaneous as he was, had evidently been planning this picnic for a while. The beach was cleared this evening. The sun was setting and it turned that sky the gentle red you loved. He had a blanket laid out with juice (you elected to stay away from alcohol) and a meal he had prepared. BB8 was nearby to ensure that no local wildlife got into the food. 

He helped you down into a sitting position and BB8 took off, complaining about sand everywhere. 

“Poe, it’s beautiful.” You took it all in and noticed that Poe was staring at you with gentle eyes. “I swear, if you say something cheesy like ‘not compared to you’, I will throw sand at you.” He pantomimed a zipping motion across his lips. 

He sat next to you, curling his arm around your waist and you leaned against him, watching the sunset and eating. 

“Y/N, there’s...um, there’s something I want to ask you.” 

Poe...fumbling? This was unlike him… You adjusted your flight jacket—the one he had given you—and put a reassuring hand on his thigh. “Easy, flyboy, take a breath…”

Poe did. “I don’t know if you remember a few years ago when you said you’d take anything I offered…” 

You nodded, keeping your eyes on his face and not on his fidgeting hands. 

“Um...well… I… okay, I’m not really good at this… but… what else do I have to offer but myself?” He took your hand and slid something into it.

You looked down: it was a plain gold ring with a small, round red gem. “Poe Dameron, are you proposing to me?!” 

He put a hand behind his head. “Yeah, yeah I am. You’re my entire world, Y/N and not a day goes by where I want more and I want it with you. Everything that’s happened in the last few years, good or bad, has gotten better with you.” He took your free hand and held it in his. “That ring was my mother’s; my dad gave it to her before I was born and she wore it every day of her life. Right before she died, she gave it to me for someone special.”

You looked down at the ring. It was a plain thing, low profile and beautiful in its simplicity. 

“It’s you, Y/N; you’re that someone special. And I want to spend forever with y—mmph!”

You launched yourself into his arms and planted a kiss on his. “Yes!”

Neither of you could miss the whooping and cheering from behind several bushes, or Snap handing Finn a handful of credits, you just elected to ignore it.

————

Poe scooped you up and carried you bridal style into the bedroom, then kicked the door closed with his foot. He lay you on the bed as you kissed each other hungrily. 

“I—“ *kiss* “—need you—“ 

“Did—“ *kiss* “—doc—“ *kiss* “—clear you?”

“Be—“ *kiss* “—gentle—“

Poe broke for air. “I can do gentle.” He sat up, then helped you sit up and carefully removed your shirt; his joined yours on the floor. 

Instinctively, you covered your chest and abdomen with your arms. Poe gave you a smile and gently moved your arms. “Let me see, princess…” 

“Poe…” Tears sprang to your eyes. This was the first time in two years he had seen you naked; scars from the blaster beams decorated your shoulder and abdomen and your back was covered with tiny puckers from the explosion shrapnel. There had not been intercourse for fear of injury, but there were other ways to pleasure each other. 

Instead of him shying away, however, you were shocked when Poe bent down and kissed your shoulder, then your stomach. “They’re a part of you, love and if I couldn’t accept them, I couldn’t accept you.” He met your mouth, saying “you’re beautiful” before completing the kiss and drawing your leggings and underwear down. 

He kissed his way from your mouth to your navel while you sighed. One hand found its way to your breast while another kneaded your thigh. 

“Poe—“ 

He sat up, a fearful look in his eyes. “Do you need me to stop, princess? Am I hurting you?” 

You smiled and shook your head, then put a hand on his cheek. “No, my love—“

His mouth found your breast and you gasped as he rolled his tongue around your nipple. 

As he did, he moved his hand down past your hip to the apex of your legs and began to rub your clit and you gasped harder, then begged him to keep going when he gave you a questioning look. “—please—“

“With pleasure, princess—“ Poe moved his finger and replaced it with his mouth; your head fell back as you entangled your hands in his hair and moaned his name. He was gentle but merciless in his ministrations and very soon, you felt the coil of an orgasm build. 

“—not yet—please—“ You released your grip on Poe’s head and he came up. 

“I want you to cum, my love—“ His eyes on you, he lowered his head back to your clit and continued to lick and suck it. “Mmm baby, you’re so beautiful like this…” 

Unable to fight it, you succumbed to the gentle wave of your climax, crying out his name as he licked you through it. 

He sat up, wiping your juices from his face, then joined you on the bed. You moved to return the favor but he stopped you. “I’ll get mine eventually, I just need you to understand how much you mean to me…” He held you to him and planted a chaste kiss in your hair. “This night is for you.” 

He rolled you onto your stomach and sat on the back of your legs. You could feel his erection against one leg and you rolled your hips into his. He gently pushed you back to the bed then kissed every one of your larger shrapnel wounds, starting from one on an ass cheek and working his way up to one on your right shoulder. 

“You’re so beautiful…” he murmured into your neck.

Tears welled in your eyes. 

Poe sat up and put a gentle hand between your shoulder blades to keep you down. He reached over to the bed and pulled out your night time body lotion, then squirted a good amount into his hand. He rubbed the lotion together then put his hands on your shoulders; you squeaked in surprise at the cold of the lotion, but it ended in a moan of appreciation as he rubbed the lotion in. 

“Poe, why are you doing this?” 

Poe answered your question with his own. “Do you know what I see when I see you?” He massaged your back, loosening up tension and knots that been building for weeks. You made a “hm” of inquiry.

“A soldier.” He kissed the side of your face exposed to him. 

“A leader.” He kissed your neck, then turned you over onto your back. 

“A warrior.” He bent to kiss you deeply. 

“You are strong and you are beautiful beyond words. It’s your strength that I admire most.” Poe sat up and removed his shirt, allowing you a generous view of his buff body. “You refused to bend completely to the will of the First Order and saved thousands of lives directly and millions indirectly, then you accepted an offer to spy for the resistance.” The pants and underwear followed the shirt and he stood before you naked for a few seconds, then crawled into bed with you, lacing your hands in his. His mother’s ring glinted in the light and he kissed that hand. “You’re beautiful, you’re strong, you’re smart…” 

You leaned in to kiss him. “And yours…” 

Poe nodded with a warm smile then clutched you to him, seemingly afraid he would lose you again. “And I’m yours, forever… So why am I doing this? Because I love you and you deserve it.” 

You pulled his face to yours and whispered “I love you” in his ear and heground himself into your thigh. “Please—“

He lined himself up with you but before he could press himself into you, you gasped out: “wait—!” 

He sat up in alarm. “Are you okay, y/n? Did I hurt you?” 

You sat up and nearly fell out of bed and reached for your flight jacket and pulled it on, then returned to the bed in only the flight jacket. “You wanted me in this, remember?” 

“No, but I am NOT complaining!” Poe positioned himself above you and cradled your head in his hand. He settled into the cradle of your hips and used the other hand to guide himself into you. You gasped, forgetting how big he was as he stretched you and he swore softly. “Oh stars, princess—“ 

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he kissed you and gently thrust into you. Your clit still sensitive from the earlier climax, you didn’t need much encouragement to reach a second one. “Poe—“ 

“That’s it, princess…” Poe moaned into your neck, low and steady. 

“I’m gonna—“ 

“Come on, Y/N, come for me—“ Poe’s breath hitched and the slow and steady roll of his hips became more erratic; you could tell he was close. “Look at me, princess—“ 

You did and just like your first time with him, that was what sent you over the edge. 

If the first orgasm was a gentle wave upon a shore, this one was a tsunami against a cliff. You were borne away on a wave of pleasure; you cried out Poe’s name and as you did, he gasped out your name and emptied himself inside you. 

As your orgasms ebbed, Poe rolled to the side so you two were laying on the bed facing each other. You basked in the afterglow and the warmth from his eyes and you both lay there, panting. 

You were almost asleep when a thought occurred you and you sat straight up. Poe, momentarily startled, sat up with you. “Is everything alright?” 

“Poe—I—the implant—“

His eyes widened. “Oh boy—“


End file.
